iThink They Hide It
by Doragoon
Summary: Carly has a theory as to why Freddie and Sam always seem to bag on and fight each other.  Does she know how right she is?
1. iHave a Theory

**Rated M**

**Just got real bored, decided to do this for fun. Kinda mixed the idea with the newest American Dad episode concept, "they really need to just fuck", and iThink They Kissed. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider owns all rights to iCarly and Characters.**

* * *

Carly and Spencer watched while sipping smoothies as Freddie and Sam argued over the remote. The two were in each other's face like never before and soon were going to wring each other's necks. But all the Shay siblings could do is just watch and wonder. Spence was the first to say something.

"Why do they continue on like that? Not even we fight like that and we're brother and sister, the ultimate fighting group."

Carly had an idea. The way they were in yelling allowed in the personal vicinity of each other gave her a clue, just not a complete answer.

"I think they just have sexual tension."

Spencer looked at his sister with his eyebrows raised.

"What? I'm serious. I think the reason they continue to fight and scream is because they have pent up frustrations for each other's bodies and, too afraid of what the other would think, take it out on a normal activity, bickering."

"Frustrations, pent up…? You're confusing me."

"I'm not as oblivious as many people think. Just cuz' I don't show that I notice things, doesn't mean I don't. I just ignore if it has nothing to do with me. I get straight A's, I must have some thinking capacity."

"I…you think…I'm just gonna go to my room."

Spencer left Carly to deal with the two in front of her, gotten past the arguing part and on to the fighting for what they want part. She was sure there was a real reason they fought, and she thinks she stumbled onto it.

_iTTHI_

Freddie was typing onto his computer, readying the next bit for iCarly. Gibby was on the beanbag chair, tapping away at his pearpod.

"What's up, Tech Boy?"

"Just packing all the bits of the next iCarly into a folder."

"Why?"

"Remember when those guys from Dingo?"

"Yeah?"

"Just thought it would be best if we folder all our bits from each show. That way we can have proof if it becomes a legal battle."

"Huh, look at you actually being smart for once."

Sam took a seat on the other beanbag in front of the T.V.

"Hey, Freddison. Put something on I can watch, I'm bored."

"Too bad, the T.V. isn't connected to the cable, so it's just internet."

"Then put something on from the internet, I'm bored!"

"Sam, why don't you go downstairs and watch T.V. there?"

Sam glared at Gibby, who decided to butt in.

"Whatcha doin', Gibs?"

"Playin' Guitar Star."

"Really, let me see."

He handed the device to her, though Freddie shook his head.

"Shouldn't have done that."

"Why?"

Just as he was asking, Sam got up and stomped her foot straight onto Gibby's pearpod.

"SAM! That cost my mom $150!"

"Tried to warn you."

Sam walked out with both boys staring after her.

"I can't understand how you can love her."

Freddie shook his head. The idea of loving Sam had come after he broke up with Carly. He had entertained it when Carly found out they had kissed, but after she had dated him and Sam had clued him in for why Carly had fallen for him so easily, he began to see Sam in a different light.

She saved him from the hurt he was bound to get himself in. But was it worth falling for someone else who could hurt him even more, both physically and emotionally.

"I just do. I can't explain it and you telling me that just annoys me, man."

"Sorry, just sayin'."

Freddie sighed and opened the folder with all the iCarly pictures inside. He smiled slightly at each Sam slide.

_iTTHI_

Sam plopped down on the couch. She turned on the tv. She really had nothing to do and messing with Freddie was the best part of her day.

Carly walked in and glanced at the blond on the couch before she moved the legs onto her best friends lap.

"I'm boooorrred."

"You're watching tv."

"I know, but I'm not doing what I should be doing."

"What's that?"

"Messin' with Freddie."

Carly sighed and stared straight at Sam.

"Why do you need to mess with Freddie? Maybe he was right, maybe you do like him."

"What? No!"

Carly rolled her eyes and smiled as if she knew Sam would say that.

"You're always fighting."

"Cause a nub and bad girl are opposite."

"Opposites attract."

"Whatever. He's too dorky."

"You've never dated a nerd, maybe you should try it."

"Mama likes the status quo. Don't change to turkey if fried chicken is already good."

"What if he loves you and you don't know it?"

"Then he's in love with a person he should hate."

"What if that person should give it a chance?"

"What if that person likes how things are?"

"Then that person is really just afraid."

Sam sat up quickly and glared ahead.

"I am not afraid. I have nothing to be afraid of."

"Except for rejection."

"Please. If anyone here would get rejected, it would be the nubbiest nub of the world."

"Sam, this is just like Pete. You liked him, but you were too afraid to ask him out. You two broke up on your third date."

"He got boring."

'No…you thought he would end it after he actually got to know you. You know he reason you broke up with him...He was beginning to change you into something you weren't."

Sam didn't say much after that. They watched more tv until the guy came down.

"Hey. Watcha doin?"

"Girly Cow. Watch. Shhh."

Freddie sat down on the carpet while Gibby made his way to the fridge. He opened the door, but looked confused as soon as he did.

"I thought there was a whole pie in the fridge. I can't find it."

Both Freddie and Carly turned to Gibby as he moved some items to see if it was hiding.

"It should be in there. Check round the tea."

"Can't see it."

"Are you sure?"

Gibby took out the pitcher of iced tea and poured it in his cup.

"Do you know where it is Sam?"

All eyes turned to Sam.

"Uhhh."

Freddie figured it out as soon as he turned to Sam.

"Saaammm."

"Yeah, I ate it."

'Sam ol' Sam."

He half smiled as always. Sam had always been able to wipe that silly smile of his right off with a comment, but all she could do was turn away before the blush on her face showed, just as her heart quickened its pace.

"_Please, why did it have to be Freddie?"_

* * *

**Sorry. I was trying for a one shot, but it got too big. Await the next chp., maybe tomorrow.**


	2. iHave History

**Rated M**

**I know ya'll were expecting this way earlier, but I had to do GTFDB. This is actually just filler so I can ask you guys a question. This chappy was inspired from Mulligatawny's Fifteen seconds. this is my first POV so tell how it went.**

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider owns all rights to iCarly and Characters.**

* * *

_Sam_

I feel in love with him in the five minutes of meeting him. We walked into each other and I dropped my crayons I was holding. I was just about to pound the dork that bumped into me until I heard his voice. It was so childish, but…I liked it. He automatically dropped to the ground and began picking up my crayons.

_Flashback_

"_I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."_

_I dropped to the ground beside him._

"_Nah, it's okay. I was just asking for that, walking all over the place."_

_He smiled into my face. I would have blushed if-! I-I'm blushing? I'm Sam Puckett. Pucketts don't blush, EVER!_

_But it was apparent cuz I felt blood rushing to my face._

"_Hey, aren't you Samantha Puckett?"_

_I was so sure it was going to go downhill from then on._

"_Yeah, what of it?"_

"_Well, everyone says you're a meanie."_

_For some reason, I wanted to show him I was just a little girl, that I wasn't as mean everybody said, even though I was. But I had a rep to uphold (yep, knew what that word meant even at that age)._

"_Well, if you believe that, you might wanna start callin' me Sam, cuz anybody that calls me Samantha ends up in the trashcan right there."_

_My little voice enunciated (Mama's on a roll) every word. His grin seemed to get bigger._

"_Well, you don't seem mean. You're actually pretty and nice. And don't worry; I hate it when someone calls me by my full name, too."_

_Now I knew I was blushing. He called me pretty. This little dude was cool._

"_What's your name?"_

"_Fredward, but I like to be called Freddie."_

"_Ya know what, Freddie? This is gonna be a good friendship."_

'_And hopefully, something more.' I thought._

_Flash-forward_

5th grade was our meeting time and I was smitten the first time I laid eyes on his cute, chubby face, messy hair, and half smile I was sure was going to make my legs drop quick. I was finally able to control that little jiggle in my body after our first week as being friends.

We were so close then. He ignored my rudeness and actually cleaned my messes, taking the blame for any bad things I did. We were inseparable, but for all the good things in my life, something had to go wrong.

Once I met Carly in 6th grade and I introduced them, he became infatuated with her, following her around and leaving me. I thought if I got into more trouble, he would notice me more, but he would only roll his eyes and scold me after I got out of trouble. My best friend that liked me for me left me for the prissy girl. I love Carly, but it's kinda jank she stole my fantasticrush (I can make up words if I want) and she didn't have to lift a finger. I had been trying to get him to notice me for a year, but she only needed a second and she got him quick.

At least she didn't like him back. I wasn't alone in my one-sided crush, but it hurt me to see him hurt every single time Carly rejected him.

I hurt for this one boy who was supposed to be my best friend and yet he leaves me for another girl. So did what I always did when I had a crush. I bullied him. But he was special because he fought back. He didn't win, but it was the principal of the situation. No one fought back against me, but this one boy, this nerdy geek, stood up to me. And that made my heart beat faster.

For nine years, I tormented him, hoping that one day he would realize why I was doing this. I must be a good actor or Freddie must not be as smart as I think because I'm 16 and he's 17 and he still hasn't figured me out yet.

Now here I sit on Carly's couch, waiting once again for the nub (if he only looked up what the word meant, maybe then he figure me out) to mess with in the hopes of him loving me back as I did him.

_Freddie_

I came down from the studio after answering questions on the blog. I was tired and all I wanted was a nap.

I saw Sam lay on the couch, her curves more pronounced as she stretched like her cat Frothy. Only difference, I wasn't love with her cat and Sam has all her limbs.

Now hold on people before you start carting me off to the insane asylum, I have actually loved Sam for awhile and known her way before. I wanted her to be my girlfriend when I met her in fifth grade, but I knew her reputation. Why would she want a nub like me? So when Carly showed, it was like all my problems washed away. Here was a cute girl who was girly, nice, and sweet. Even if I was a nub, I saw sometimes how the geek got the girl sooner or later.

Well, if those shows didn't pull out more lies than Sam does when she's on a streak. Carly couldn't be less interested. I kept trying, slowly forgetting my desire for Sam. It was at that same time, she began to bully me. She had never done it before so it was baffling.

Even so, I continued to pine for Carly, hoping she could find love in me. I was ecstatic when she kissed me for saving her life. It was the happiest day in my life, the girl of my dreams (well, second dreams) liked me.

But Sam just had to ruin it. Sam was actually perceptive once and told me why Carly had fallen for me after so many years of rejection. I was just foreign bacon, as Sam would eloquently put it. She didn't love me; she was just in love with what I did, of my heroism. And when we broke up (and a little convincing of myself that it was the right thing to do), I was finally able to realize Carly wasn't the girl for me. She was my foreign bacon. She made me forget about how I couldn't be with Sam.

All those years of hate were just pretend. I had subconsciously made myself hate Sam so I didn't get hurt with the factor of being alone. Then I realized something far more important than I had thought possible. I kissed her!

How I was able to repress the feeling of jumping around until I fell off the fire escape when it was over baffled me, but the moment I realized this, I jumped for joy and laughed happily. I had just happened to forget I was in class. All the guys chuckled and girls giggled through their hands as the teacher glared at me.

"Mr. Benson, would you like to party or do want to pass my class."

I sat down quick and stared down as my face flushed in embarrassment. At least the girls weren't in there to see that. But the moment I got home, I jumped around like a mad hatter in joy.

But my joy was quickly dosed as I realized we had only done that to get the whole first kiss thing out of the way.

She still didn't love like I did her. Now, not only did I not have a second love, I still didn't have my first love. Life was the most suckish thing in the world

But let's forget all that and get back to the meat loving beauty on the couch.

"Hey, what are you watching?"

"Celebrity Deathbout. Angelina Jolie is kicking Jessica Simpson's ass."

Sam laughed as one of the women did a round house kick to the other. It's funny how people were able to make celebrities out of clay dolls. I made my way to the kitchen and took out a pan.

I opened the fridge and pulled a bottle of Peppy Cola from the six-pack and took out the bacon. Now all I had to do was wait. I drank some of my soda as I watched from the kitchen. It was only a matter of-

"Hey Fredweird, make me some bacon."

I shook my head. I knew she was gonna ask. I smiled as I turned the stove on and cooked ten strips of the thick slices.

"Ya know, sooner or later, all that foods gonna travel somewhere. Your metabolism can't be that fast."

"Nerd, I would feel insulted if whatever you said meant anything to me."

Yep, that was the sound of the bits of my heart breaking even more. But I had to cool it. It was just words.

"Sure. You'll wish you had listened to me years from now."

Sam rolled her eyes.

"You know what dork. If the next thing that comes outta your mouth doesn't involve my bacon, you're gonna wake up one morning without a tongue."

I shut up quick. Just I love her, doesn't mean she's any less scary. I was sure she could hold true to that promise.

"Thinking you can talk bad bout Mama."

She actually got up and walked over to the desk, leaning on her arms and looking over to the stove.

"They done yet?"

"Almost."

She growled, but she was gonna have to wait. I wasn't gonna have her sick, not on my watch.

She nodded her head happily as she got her plate of bacon. I was gonna have to wash that plate soon.

I watched her eat her bacon. Even though she was rude, annoying, self minded, and above all else, a PAIN IN THE ASS, I still loved her.

* * *

**Yeah, what up. I know ya'll were waiting but I have to ask, do ya'll want a lemon, or this to just be very naughty? I can't decide.**

**Till next time, Animaster/Doragoon out.**


	3. iLose It

**Rated M**

**Well, it's apparent I won't get any other response for the lemon poll. Mostly, everyone wants a lemon, so that's what I'm gonna go with. Sounds good with the start in my head, just try not to get confused in the start, just keep reading. This chap. is gonna be in Freddie's pov.**

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider owns all rights to iCarly and Characters.**

* * *

_Freddie_

"Ahh ahh ahh!"

I gasped as our bodies, slick with sweat, saliva, and the juices from our joined junctures between our legs. I kneaded Sam's breasts together, up, and down, adding to the intense feel of the joining.

"God, Freddie!"

Sam bounced up and down on my cock, the noises making me (and most likely her) hornier. It felt so good, no amount of masturbation felt anywhere near as pleasurable. Her insides loosened and clenched onto me. Her legs slide against mine, our bodies intertwined so magically. Damnit, now I'm beginning to talk poetically. This haze of pheromones was starting to get to my head.

Sam's moans were so incredible to my ears, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to hold off for much longer. She scratched my chest, emphasizing her pleasure

"Sam, I-I'm not sure I can-!"

"Freddie, I'm almost their! Hold off for me, please!"

Even Sam's beautiful begging didn't help. But I knew what would. I flipped us over, allowing me to have full control. Now I could change the pace to suit both me and her. My bed creaked and groaned against our powered humping.

I started up slow, allowing for me to pull back from cumming too fast. Sam, however, didn't want slow.

"Fredlumps, I swear if you don't go, you'll suffer for it later."

I knew what she meant, she had done it earlier.

I know we just got into some really nasty and crazy stuff. Before I cum, let's go back a couple of hours before all this…interaction.

_Morning: 10:30 a.m._

I woke to my mother dusting things. I closed my eyes again in hopes she would leave soon. She doesn't know the only thing I wear to bed anymore is my house sweats. She would make me wear footie pajamas to bed before I made an attempt to move out…with antibacterial underwear and antifungal socks. I would sweat even if the window was opened and it was the start of January.

"Oh, Freddie, how can you keep you room so dusty when I'm gone."

"_Because I don't dust and clean everything every thirty minutes, ON THE THIRTY MINUTES!"_

I thought to myself loudly. I heard the door close silently, my mother still thinking I was asleep. I pull out my laptop that I hide under my covers so she doesn't touch it.

I stretch and yawn, getting all the tiredness out of my body and conscience. I open and turn on my laptop. I open the iCarly webpage, checking the stats, viewer comments, polls, and debates. Everything would up at least four thousand on the page. There were times; I thought some people just didn't have lives other than the ones that checked on iCarly.

I dress and walk out my room, hoping that I can avoid my mom at all costs. She usually does the bathroom after mine. But instead, I find her on the cook stove. Oh god, not tofu.

"Morning, Freddiebear."

"Morning, ma."

"Freddie, how are you supposed to answer me?"

I sigh. I really thought we had gotten over this.

"Morning…"

She gestured to me to finish.

"…Motherbear."

I really need mouthwash after that. But then something catches my nose.

I smelt…pancakes. And not that corn powder mix stuff, even though mom would put blueberries inside. Real, brought from the supermarket, pancake mix.

"Ma, you do realize you brought that from the supermarket, right?"

"Yes. They made it sodium-free, so it's okay."

I nodded my head. It was just one thing, nothing out of the ordinary. But then she pulled out eggs. Not the soy bean eggs that had the specific coloring of brown, but actual white eggs.

I didn't even bother asking and just walked to the bathroom. I came back out and walked up to my mom.

"Freddie, now I have to disinfect you now."

She took out a can of lemon scented disinfectant and sprayed me. Apparently, the bathroom wasn't clean yet. I coughed a little and held up my hand.

"Mom, put this under your tongue."

I held out the thermometer out to her.

"Why do I have to take my temperature?"

"You're making white eggs and regular pancakes. There has to be something wrong with you."

My mom laughed in my face.

"There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just deciding to make a change."

"Whyyyy?"

"Your father told me to."

My eyes widened. My mother said she had visions of talking to my father. She never told me what he looked like, never said anything except he died before my birth. She said he died during a tour, ironically, in the same battalion with Carly's father before he climbed rank. I knew she believed those visions because he had told her she would have his son. His name was going to be Fredward, since she wouldn't choose between Fred and Edward. My name.

"What did he say?"

'He said that I should let go, or…I wouldn't have a son soon."

I wonder what that meant, but couldn't help, but smile. At least I got good eggs and regular pancakes for it.

Once I get done eating, I make my way over to Carly's, socks being the only footwear on my feet. I walk in without knocking (oddly enough, I started to do that more often) and see Sam digging in the fridge. I roll my eyes at the obvious position. The love of my life had the metabolism of an elephant.

"Sam, can't you wait until everyone else is awake to actually be hungry."

Sam jumped, hitting her head on the roof of the fridge. She turned and glared. The glare would have scared me a year ago, but now, all I could do at her stare was scoff. She's scary when she gets close and threatens me. From far away, it's useless.

She wrinkled her nose, making me blush.

"It was so much easier to scare you when you barely had man hair and had a girlier voice. Now you have a whole bunch of hair and plain girly voice."

"Compared to your man voice, it probably does sound like I have a girl voice."

I walk to the kitchen and pull out some leftover pancakes from my pocket.

"Here."

"Wow, Fredweird. First bacon, now pancakes? If I didn't know you, I'd say you had a crush on me."

I stuttered an answer.

"C-Crush? Nah, me? No, we're supposed to hate each other, remember?"

"Duh-mbass."

I look at her dryly. For some reason, it seemed her face fell, but it was gone in a blink of an eye.

"Oh, so now you have to put words together to insult me?"

"I figured it was appropriate. Liked it?"

"It was rudely creative."

Carly came down in her pajamas. She expected me, making sure she covered her skin.

"Hey guys, don't forget, we have to rehearse for iCarly tonight."

"Alright."

"Whatever."

I look to Sam.

"You don't care about much, do you?"

"I try not to."

I turned the TV on, catching Celebrities Underwater right before it came on.

"Fredpus, we are not watching D-list actors try to make their way out of a glass box after getting trapped."

"What are you going to do about it, Sam?"

She growled and I raised my brow. She leaned toward me.

"Give me the remote. You're getting too cocky."

"No."

I hop off the couch and back up. She gets up and clenches her hand. I stuff the remote in my pocket. I run around the couch and she follows, but doesn't expect for me turn. Either way, she tackles me and we fall to the ground, me trying to take the brunt of the pain. She tries to pin me down, but I surprise her and push her down to ground, reversing her pin, my new strength being my hidden power.

She looks at me shocked. Carly's face is twined with Sam's. She knows I could do things like this, but she didn't think I could beat Sam in a battle of strength.

"H-How did you do that?"

"First off, those fencing lessons needing backup for thrusts and reflects. Second, do you think lugging that camera around is a joke?"

"Why haven't you joined the wrestling team if you're so strong?"

"Do you see what those guys wear? It's like a speedo for your body."

I let go of Sam when I was sure she was distracted enough to not punch me for holding her down like that. I pulled her up. Carly was still in shock.

"Maybe I'm in a dream where everything is topsy-turvy."

She sat down at the edge of the couch beside Sam. I had turned it to the Walt channel. What no one realized was that I still held Sam in my own, not even me.

_Afternoon: 5:50 p.m._

As I open the program for the new green screen app., the girls got ready for the next skit. I hadn't thought of this before. I figured if I could make videos form from the green screen, I could paste pictures on the screen too. I pasted the picture of a saloon for the cowboy and dopey girl skit.

"Alright, girls. The screen is ready, come take a look."

Carly and Sam came by, Sam brushing my shoulder and making me shiver.

"Nice, Freddie."

"Looking good, Freduccini."

"Alright. Well, I'm gonna go change."

"Cool, me too."

Carly walked out, picking off the ten gallon hat off her head.

I look back to Sam, but automatically wishing I hadn't. Sam was already in her bra and continuing with her pants.

"Sam, what the hell are you doing?"

"You know, I probably should have told you to leave, but then that would have taken the work of actually saying something."

I huff and walk out, trying to maintain the modesty Sam barely had.

"Alright, Dipthong, I'm what you people call descent."

I walk in on Sam getting her socks on.

"I'm serious. What if I had been a pervert?"

"First off, Benson, I already think you are. You surround yourself with computers and you're nerdy as Bill Gates, so you have to watch porn almost every second you get alone. Which probably means five seconds since your mom is a psychotic whack job. Second off, I can take just about anyone."

"You couldn't get me down."

"Surprise attack, bet you can't do it again."

"Oh, really?"

I walk up to her and stop just about an inch away. I squint my eyes and complete that with a smirk and I see the hint of a blush.

"Are you sure you just couldn't get me down."

"I can beat you anytime. Watch."

She trips me down onto the bean bag beside the other one that had her clothes on it. We wrestle and roll in the circumference of the bag, but I soon get the upper hand and push her down. She struggles and shakes, but I got her arms in a position where if she moved, I could break her arm. Not that I would, never would even cross my mind.

She soon looks up in defeat, something I thought I would never see on Samantha Puckett's face. She looked so beautiful, her eyes full of clear water with diamonds in the center. Her hair was so gold from this angle, shining in the electric light. But it was the lips that I couldn't resist. Full, red…mine for the picking.

"_Damnit. Stop Fredward, she doesn't want this. She hates you. Even if you do love her."_

My look of desire is replaced by her look of defeat. I couldn't believe I thought I would get to-

Think fireworks. Not just any fireworks, but the ones from China that could blow your hand off if you didn't throw it fast enough or the one that exploded, but didn't succeed for minutes on end. Now, multiple that by a billion times more and you'll get partially what I felt.

The feeling of her lips on my own was staggering, my arms almost turning to jelly had they not the job of keeping me from crushing her. She kissed me. She kissed me!

I felt like my world was evolving into to white heat. Then I realize we need to breathe, even if I don't want to.

I pull away, taking short gasps and Sam in sync with me. I take that time ask the question even though my brain was telling me just go with it.

"W-What was t-that?"

"Freddie, if you couldn't figure out what I just did, maybe you need to go back elementary."

She kissed me again and pulled me down. We rolled around, Sam's hands traveling through me hair, my hands rubbing her sides up and down, getting closer to her ass.

But once again, conscious just had to be an dick.

"Wait, wait, wait. Why? Why are we doing this? We're supposed to hate each other."

Sam looked up then sat us up and scooted back, turning away.

"I can understand if you don't-

"NO!"

My outburst makes her look up in surprise.

"No, no. It's just…I'm really confused."

"Why should you be? Can't we talk about reasons after?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want this to be just sex."

"It's just sex, Freddie. Lighten up."

"Not if it should mean more."

She looked confused for a second.

"I want this to be more. I want us…to be like this for a long time. To be together for a longtime…"

Sam's eyes widened and her mouth opened. Then after a moment she began to laugh. I'm taken aback. I feel rejection run through my blood.

"I guess this really is just sex to you…"

Sam turns to me and her head hangs down in shame.

"No, it's just, I should really believe to Carly more."

"Why?"

"It's funny cuz the nub that I love actually wants me too. Strange world, huh?"

I sit there shocked. She…loves me? I continue to look shock, even as she strips her shirt. So un-Sam-like, she raises her hand to my face and rubs it gently.

"I love you, Freddie. You were my first kiss, since then I couldn't stop think about you. Now, I want you be my first…lover."

She was so uncharacteristic; I almost held my hand to her head to see if she was sick. But instead, I stood up with her, taking her shirt in my hand.

"If we're going to do this, we can't just it were someone can get a splinter. And someone will get a splinter."

We make our way downstairs and check Carly. She's digging through the freezer after her change. We open the front door quietly, but right before we can close it, Carly catches us.

"Hey, where are you guys goin'?"

I look to Sam. She motions for an explanation.

"We, uh-

"We're gonna get smoothies, Carls. Want one?"

"Uh, sure. Get me the new Watermelon Whack, please. T-Bo said it-

We were out before she could say another word and make a detour, going straight through my apartment and into my room. My mom was already at the clinic and wouldn't be home till midnight.

I closed the door, but locked just to be safe, should anyone hear us. I turn to Sam and feel my eyes almost pop out of my sockets. There she was black lace on her bra, but regular black panties mix matching the threads. I felt myself grow. Her face was deathly innocent, but her eyes spoke of something very… mischievous, for lack of a better word.

"Come on Freddie. Don't be a wuss. Come to Mama, Mama's Boy."

So after the stripping, the licking, the, erm, agonizingly slow blowjob she told me she had learned from Carly and her sleeping over and surfing the web, and the heart wrenching virginity break, we're back to the desperate humping and verge of orgasmic bliss.

"Ohhh, Freddiiiieee!"

She could moan and scream all she wanted. It pleasured me to know she was enjoying this just as much as I was, if not more.

The knot twisting and clenching in my lower abs (yeah, I got those now and Sam sure seemed to like 'em) finally reached down into my dick and I was hard-pressed to wait for Sam to finish before me.

She was on her hands and knees, bumping into my groin as I pushed forward. God, I would have done this a long time ago if it meant it would feel just as good as this. Then again, I still didn't know Sam's feelings so, it might have gone another way. Like, arm-shattering way.

I felt like teasing her, against my better judgment and pulled her stomach up till her back was to me.

"Does that feel good?"

"Freddie, I swear-

Suddenly, I stop. I almost shudder, but I told myself if this was going to work, I needed to remain unfazed. I waited for MY answer. I hear it from a small, weakening voice.

"Y-Yes!"

"Do you want me to keep going?"

"Freddork, I am so-

I start rubbing her folds, her nub my main direction. But just as her clenching begins again, I stop, torturing her more than myself.

"Y-Yes, Freddie."

"Beg me."

Sam turned to me and I could see retribution in her eyes, but I wasn't afraid. I would revel in the factor that she was a sex fiend and would torture me just as I was. But her eyes turned petite in form and made my heart beat faster.

"Please, Freddie."

"Please, Freddie what?"

"Please…fuck…pussy."

"I can't hear you."

"PLEASE KEEP FUCKING MY PUSSY!"

"Much better."

I push into her with enough force to rip steel. I let go of her stomach and she falls to the bed, her arms jelly and unable to hold her weight.

I feel her clenching hard around me and I know she's getting incredibly close.

"I-I'm gonna cum, Freddie!"

Finally, she was there and I push faster and harder than before, making sure she was going to cum before I did.

It was the clenching that made me lose it. It was so hard and wet around me, I was sure it would rip me clean off.

"I'M CUMMING!"

She screams and I was sure my bed rattled with her. I, on the other hand, pulled out and came on her ass, the pleasure so good it was painful to me. White ribbons covered her buttocks and legs in an almost endless orgasm. After what was an eternity in my book, we both sagged and I pulled her down with me, the stickiness now smearing to my groin and legs.

Sam was outta breath and mine was beginning to calm. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her close. Her hair smelt like honey…and sausage. I didn't even want to know.

"Freddie?"

"Yeah?"

She gets quiet and it begins to scare me. Doubts begin to cloud my mind. Maybe she really didn't love me, maybe she just wanted to get this outta the way. My body tenses and I loosen my arms for when she pulls away. What surprises me is that she holds my arms.

"What are you doing?"

"Letting you go when you leave."

"What makes you think I want to leave?"

"Um…uhhh."

"Yep, you're a real smart guy, aren't you, Fredstupid."

I glower at her choice name.

"You thought I was just gonna leave? You're in this with me, Freddork, whether you want to be or not."

I clench my arms around her once more.

"But I am so getting you for next time. No one, not even Mama's boy, makes Mama beg, you got that?"

"Yes, Princess Puckett."

She snuggles into me and I push me head out further to rest my chin atop her head.

"Not half bad, Fredpus."

"Now if only we could get that screaming under control."

"That'll be the day I become vegetarian."

I chuckle and kiss the top of her head. I hear her breathing begin to even out, but right before, she tells me something. Something I've wanted to hear for a year.

"I…love you…Benson."

"Love you too, Puckett."

I feel like we were forgetting something, but shrug it off. And with that, I close my eyes and fall into the deepest sleep for great dreams.

* * *

**That's the lemon guys. Not too bad, better than my last couple. I figured Sam would be the rough one in bed. Tell how it was and for those who didn't want a lemon, well, sorry!**

**Not done yet, update soon, just not too soon. Let this one stir for a bit.**

**Till next time, Animaster/Doragoon out.**


	4. iHide It

**Rated M**

**I know I have to finish this soon before I get too into it. I have other stories that I still need to finish, ones that won't be done until like six or seven more chps. This will probably be done in the next chp after this. Sam POV**

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider owns all rights to iCarly and Characters.**

* * *

_iTTHI_

God, did we both get it. Carly had really thought me and Freddie went for smoothies and had waited and waited before calling our phones. We were…uhh, so into what we were doing, we didn't even know the ringtone go off.

"_Damn, Fredward knows how to get me off."_

We were weeks after realizing we had been waiting too long and started to date. Not that anyone we knew knew we were dating. We would either disguise ourselves when we went to a place we often see people or Fredpus would drive us out of Seattle and take me to some fancy, prissy restaurant. I usually told him it wouldn't make a difference. I hated snobs and I told him sooner or later, we would get kicked out because I decided to wedgify some ignorant ass who decided he was better than others and he would always respond;

"And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Pucketts aren't supposed to blush at comments like that. We smack the person around who said it. I would punch him in his arm, but do it while looking away.

We only kept this a secret because we didn't know exactly how to come out with "Hey, did you know me and the Freddork are dating?"

And especially with Carly. She would have wanted to know as soon as we made it official. But we had had been so afraid of her babbling her sweet, but big mouth to everyone, we had kept it a secret and soon, even if we did tell her, we would get yelled at for keeping it so long.

Then again, me and Fredweird are such good actors, she would barely notice a change when we told her we had to leave and instead, make out in the hallway before moving it to the nerd cave. Like now.

"We're gonna have to tell her soon. Ohhh…"

Freddie was kissing his way up on my naked and sated body. I could feel myself getting wet again. Slightly, but it was beginning to haze my mind again.

"God, you look incredible."

I knew he was trying to change the subject. And as much as I was trying to resist, it was working.

"Fudgeface, stop trying to make me hot again."

"You just say that cuz you know I can."

"That's beside the point. Shut the hell up, keep your hands to yourself for more than two minutes or I will break them, and listen."

Freddie sat up. His toned body made me faze out before refocusing. I look up to see him smirk while I try to resist jumping his bones…for the third time today.

"Carly is going to be pissed about this if she finds out we're dating. We have to tell her sooner than later."

Freddie sighed. I know he was about to come up with a pretty good excuse. I should know, I taught him.

"Why? Don't you know how awkward it's gonna get when we tell Carly? Think about it. We act more mushy when she isn't around and when she is, we have so much innuendo involved, it was like we were making a script for a porno."

He had a point. Me and the dork PDA'ed it every second we got with each other. Even if people watched, I would kiss him senseless, shoving my tongue into his mouth and fighting with his, and we wouldn't care. Doing it in front of Carly would have a bad effect. She would be a third…

"You're probably right."

I see Mama's Boy (I started to call him it more than any other name just cuz he is **Mama's** Boy) widen his eyes. Yeah, I never let him win a fight or if I do, it's because he's so adamant about it, till he finds out later that I was right.

"What?"

"Yeah, I mean, I would get it…"

"Get what?"

"Ughh, being the third wheel, Fredlumps!"

I groan then turn in the sheets. I wonder how he got so smart if he couldn't even figure out what I say. I hear him speak, almost in an understanding voice.

"You would know how it would feel being the third wheel?"

"That's cuz I am, well, was."

"When have you ever felt like that?"

"The night you danced with Carly at the Groovy Smoothie."

I don't have to turn to know he looked surprised. What I didn't realize is how he would wrap his arms around me.

"I'm sorry…I just…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, loved Carly. I know she was first."

"Well, actually, you were first."

"What?"

His little admission just turned my whole world upside-down.

"I loved you first, but thought you would never love a, what did you call me? Nub? And you were right; I was a nub that wasn't good enough for the strong tomboy."

If only we hadn't been two idiots who believed we weren't good enough for each other, maybe we would have loved instead of fought.

"Benson, we are two teens who have so much wrong with us."

"If that's not the truth."

He kissed up the side of my neck. I moaned into the darkness. He rubbed my tits, smoothing his hands over my body as if I were a sculpture. God, it felt good to be loved.

_iTTHI_

I awoke in my bed. I made sure that I snuck out while Fredpus slept. As much as I was good to sleep in his ar-I mean, bed, I had to get home before my mom woke up and checked on me. She was getting picky with making sure to know where I was after that damned therapist made us figure out our feelings on how we treated each other.

I sat up in my three layer bed. Seriously, I had a box spring, then three mattresses, since we couldn't afford an actual set up.

It was okay since she helped this time. Ever since Dad died, me and my mother fell away from each other. We would always fight when my father was alive, but he was able to calm us down. It's kinda funny since Freddie reminded me so much of him.

To be technical, my father was a great guy. Not like the guys my mom dates these days. She always gets the assholes, only to use them and dump them a week later. Some of them were creeps, staring at me like I would a steak. Before they could do anything, though, mom would kick them out like week old trash.

But back to my dad, he made our lives incredible. He actually owned a meat company. He was the head CEO and would bring home all kinds of meat from around the world. My mom worked then still, saying that she didn't want to be a burden for her nub. She was a construction worker, always swinging a hammer. That's probably where I got my strength. Cause my dad was a pretty weak fella. He couldn't carry me for long, even when I was only five. Then again, that meat had to go somewhere and my stomach seemed like a great place for it.

When he was murdered, it hurt. He was coming back from his daily run at night when someone had tried to rob him. My dad knew kung fu and kicked the guys butt. But when he took out a knife, things went downhill pretty quick. My dad was stabbed five times before he gave up. The guy got away, but…my dad didn't make it.

So we grew apart till Carly made us go to a therapist, and after we got home, we cried in each other's arms, bursting out our held in emotions.

After that, my mom didn't take over the company. The company said only blood relatives could do so, so I was going to inherit it. Not like my mom would have done so, she was too wild to stay in a room with stuffy prisses. I could probably do it, as long as they weren't complete nubs who talked about numbers all day.

That's probably because I had practice with this nub so I could listen to nerd talk.

I walk outta my room, still dressed in my pajamas, a t-shirt and sweats, and made my way downstairs.

My mom hadn't come to room, so maybe she knew I was up. Or she came in my room while I was sleeping. I don't care if she is my parent, that's stalkering.

I passed the living room into the kitchen on the left. My mom was sitting there, eating a piece of bacon. Mmm, bacon. She looked up. Hey, she looked up. She would have never looked up in the past. Maybe this therapist was working.

"Hey, kid, what some breakfast?"

I nod my head casually, as opposed to how my stomach wanted me to shake vigorously. She stood beside the refrigerator. It seems that she already made some…for herself!

"Yeah, sorry, you're gonna have to make it yourself, I kinda got lazy."

"_Like that's a change."_

I walked up to the fridge and put my hand on the door to open it when her hand stops me. My mom is pretty strong, more than me to stop me from doing stuff like opening this door too easily.

She looks to me. I make sure she can't see my eyes. She always knows. No matter how hard I try to hide it, she knows when she has to be a mom.

"You were thinking about em, weren't you?"

I don't nod. She always asks me, so she doesn't need a yes. She wraps her arms around me. These were awkward the first couple of times she had done it after the therapist, but soon I got used to them and enjoyed them. But since getting with Fredpus, they were only second.

She let go of me and walked away. I look in the fridge and take out the bacon. Can't wait to put these babies on the stove.

"Oh, yeah. The electricity is out; you'll have to wait to make your breakfast till I get back."

I twitch my eye and sigh loudly.

"So how did you make your food?"

"The electricity went out after I was done."

Yep, that was my mom!

_iTTHI_

I walked into Carly's house. I hoped I wasn't too late for breakfast with them. I saw nobody in the kitchen or the living room, which meant no food. That's just great.

I take out a pan once I make my way to the kitchen and pull out some bacon.

I knew I could have made some for everyone else, buuuut I'm not that kind of girl. Once the twelve pieces settle in my stomach, I hop on the couch and lay down for nap till everyone gets up. When I look back at it, maybe I should have just been nice for once and made breakfast for my friends.

_iTTHI_

_I woke up from the island separating the kitchen and the living room. My head was pounding from the hard wood. I still couldn't believe that Spencer was actually able to fix this. _

_I look up and turn to see Carly and Fredwardo standing from me…pretty close together. I smile to my bfs. They didn't smile back._

"_Hey, guys, what's up? You guys look like Spencer just pranked you."_

_They shift on their feet and stare at anywhere but me._

"_Umm, Sam. I-I mean, we have to tell you something."_

_Carly spoke first and Freddie followed._

"_I'm sorry…"_

_My heart began to pound like my head had. I was beginning to hurt._

_Freddie slipped his hand into Carly's and I knew._

"_Tell me what it is."_

_I just must really like self pain._

"_I don't love you anymore. I-"_

"_I know."_

_I didn't let the tears even get to my eyes. I knew this day was going to come. It always does. I lose my boyfriend to Carly. Jonah, Pete, even though it was because he said he wanted a real girly, and Freddie, the love of my…actually, just my crush that crushed me and I let myself get attached._

_I smirked._

"_So you finally got your wish. Carly loves you back."_

"_You're not mad?"_

"_Nah, dating you was cool, sneaking around and everything."_

"_Thanks for this."_

"_You deserve it. You two are perfect together. Now, if you don't mind, I have to get home before my mom eats my ham."_

_I walked past them and before I closed the door to the apartment, I see them turn to each other, grinning before they kiss passionately. The passion I wanted with him._

_I let it go. No one here now to see me, no one to judge me. I was alone and maybe it's for the best. I've always been a mean person and I deserve this. I feel the tears slide from my eyes and I can hear myself sobbing, but in my head, I feel nothing, but the darkness swallows me. It feels good to allow myself to get sucked in._

_But sound cuts through. It's almost like…music._

"_Sammy, Sammy…"_

_Someone is calling me, albeit, by a cutesy name. I hate cutesy. But this voice was good and light cuts through the dark. It feels so good. Almost as good as Freddie…_

_iTTHI_

I awake to the Freddork shaking me slightly.

"Sammy, Sammy, wake up."

I sit up and look around. Instead of the island, I'm on the couch again. I feel on my face and touch tears. I look to Freddie and see his eyes. They were loving, just like the first time we cuddled.

I rush up to hug him and clutch him to myself as if he was going to disappear. Crap, now I'm turning into an emotional priss. But after a nightmare like that, I'll be as prissy as I want.

"What happened?"

"It was a nightmare."

Freddie smirked against my hair.

"What's so funny, Dipthong?"

"Sam Puckett is afraid of something?"

"Just cuz I'm strong out here doesn't mean there aren't things that scare me. Like that stupid monster that stole my soup."

"So what scared you this time?"

"…You…"

Freddie pulled back and tilted his head in confusion.

"Me?"

We heard loud footsteps coming from the stairs and pulled away from each other. I sat up more to see over the couch. We saw Carly come down.

"Hey. I heard someone talking in their sleep."

"Sam."

I shrug.

"I didn't know I talked."

"Why were you saying your name?"

"Huh?"

"I heard 'Sammy, Sammy' over and over."

"Oh, that was me."

"You call her Sammy? Since when."

She was starting to get suspicious, so I turn around and punch my dork in the stomach. He doubled over in pain and looked up at me.

"If that's a nickname for me, you will never say it again or I swear, you will wake up one morning and find yourself floating down a river in Cuba."

I look to him, but I hope that my eyes convey complete regret. He winks at me before falling to the floor. I hope that's enough acting for Carly. I love hurting him, but to an extent. Maybe that's what being in love feels like. Craaaap.

_iTTHI_

I fall back to the wrinkled and sweaty mattress. I swear, me and him go at it like jackrabbits so much; I'm beginning to think it's a bad habit. Well, at least we always have condoms.

I sigh and it catches his attention.

"What's wrong? Crap, maybe I didn't do it right. Give me a sec."

He pulls the covers over his head and crawls down on me, but I stop him before he gets too far. Don't get me wrong, that tongue is from God or something and I did reach my edge…twice. But ever since that dream, I can't stop thinking about it.

"Freddie?"

He crawls back up to me and looks at me confused. I've never taken that tone, so even I'm a bit weirded out.

"What's the worst thing I've ever done?"

Freddie does the last thing I expect. He laughs. I was being serious so I punch him.

"Ow!'

"That was serious chiz, dude! I wanted to know."

He stops, but keeps a grin on his face. His framed and perfectly shaped face that I think is starting to grow a little stubble…God, what the hell is happening to me?

"You want the truth?"

"Yes!"

"Alright. The worst thing you ever did…was when you made that sweatshop full of fourth graders for penny-tees. That was just crazy. I mean, food out of a dumpster? C'mon, Sam."

"Alright, alright, I admit that was pretty bad. So what's the worst thing that I've ever did to you?"

"Hmmm…"

"Well? C'mon, hurry up."

"Jeez, it's not like you're going anywhere anytime soon. You're actually supposed to be at Carly's in a sleepover."

"Stop changing the subject."

"The worst thing that you ever did to me was telling me that you loved me at seventeen."

"What?"

I sat up. How could he tell me something like that? So why was he with me? For kicks? I begin to get up and get dressed.

He got up with me and I've never wanted to hit him so much in my life. Him and his perfect bode-God, I have to stop this. My eyes start to water and I'm about to do the thing Pucketts never do. Cry.

But before I get even my first tear out, he brings me into his arms. I try to get away, but he's gotten strong for a dorky nub.

"The reason it's the worst is because for years you loved me and never told me. If you told me sooner, we may have been boy and girl for more than a couple of weeks and Carly would already know."

I look up at him and see the sincerity I hear in his voice. He smiles at me and I love it. God, if feel like vomiting from the mushiness. But instead, I kiss him.

We kiss for more than we ever had, more than the first time we fucked. Yeah, I said it, you got something to say?

He pulled away and grinned from ear to ear.

"Now, let's got Wake Up Spencer!"

We get all our clothes on and Fredwad gets his camera. We sneak into the apartment across the hallway and Freddie turns the camera on.

"Hey, iCarly freaks."

"It's about 3:30 and we couldn't sleep, so it's time for Wake Up Spencer!"

We make our way into Spence's bedroom. Alright, let's do this.

"Hey, Spence, wake up."

I whisper at firs then yell, but just enough so that Carly can't hear.

"WAKE UP SPENCER!"

Did I mention Carly sleeps very deeply? He jumps up and holds onto his pillow.

"Spencer, wake up."

"Hmghm."

"There are bunnies nibbling on your piggies."

Freddie started making squeaking sounds.

"Wha…bunnie, don't nibbghg…"

"Hey, Spence. That ox is eating your ribs."

"Ox, stop nibbling on my ribs."

Freddie joins in my giggling. I swear, this couldn't get funnier.

"He ran to the bunnies."

"Bunnies eat ribs."

Freddie started helping. This was hilarious!

"Hey, Spence, I'm Mr. Oxford."

"Don't eat my ribs Mr. Oxford."

Through the entire segment, we couldn't stop giggling. I have to admit; maybe I should have told Freddie I loved him sooner. We probably could have been like this from the beginning.

_iTTHI_

I can't believe those two. I told them, no more secrets and then they go and pull this on me. This was probably the worst secret that they could have pulled. I know it's their privacy, but what if I started liking Freddie? What if I wanted to date him, huh?

Not that I would want to…but that gives me a pretty good idea to get them back. They think I don't see it, but I've been creeping. Sam is a great teacher, so much so, I was able to stal-I mean, watch them from a far away distance.

If they're going to keep secrets, might as well make them tell me. I may not have funny ideas, Sam comes up with most of that, but I have devious little plans if I'm lied to or keep secrets from me. I lose it when I keep secrets or lie and I don't do well against people who do it to me.

* * *

**I don't know whether or not this was a good chp. I wasn't really trying, so maybe it wasn't. Ehh, I'll try harder next time. What do you think?**

**Till next time, Doragoon/Animaster**


	5. iDon't Need To

**Rated M**

**Yeah, it's the ending. I had fun with this, might do some more iCarly in the future. You probably want to have a whole bunch of free time if you're gonna read this. Freddie and Carly POV, in that order.**

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider owns all rights to iCarly and Characters.**

* * *

_iTTHI_

Have you ever had a feeling that something bad was gonna happen to you, but you didn't know what? I do. Carly keeps looking at me with an angry expression and I think I'm going to throw up at my nervousness. I don't catch her, but out my peripheral vision, I can see someone pretty mad.

It's almost the weekend and we're at our lockers. I take out my stuff for English and try not to be intimidated by the glaring brunette. Sam walks up and smacks the books out my hand.

"Really, Sam?"

"Eh, I was bored."

I huff and pick my books up. She still did stuff to me, cutting all my polo shirts, putting hot sauce in the milk, even going as far as to tape my mouth shut when I lean for a kiss. But I knew it wasn't going to stop her if we got together.

I look up and see Sam staring at Carly. She was talking to Wendy.

"Have you noticed Carly glaring at me?"

I was surprised at Sam. So it wasn't just me! But what if…

"I-I think she knows."

Sam's eyes enlarged, but they soon pulled back down. She seemed to consider something in her head.

"She couldn't have. We've been making sure to disguise ourselves and go outta town so no one we know sees us. She can't have figured it out."

"But we haven't been fighting like we used to. What's the last bad thing you ever really said to me?"

"Uhh…um…Crap."

"I know, we need-OWWW!"

Sam had grabbed me up by my boxers and was walking me to the trashcan.

"NO, SAM, NO-AGH!"

I cough as trash caves around me. I wiggle around, but fall as the can tilts. I hear the laughter from everyone else. I sigh. My girlfriend.

_iTTHI_

I shake my head at Sam, who just got finished with her stunt. I know she didn't want to do that, she did it for me. I can see the little worried look she gets right after she does something bad to Freddie, even before they get together. At first, I thought I was going blind, but it began happening more often, so I realize Sam actually feels bad.

I knew they would end up together sooner or later. I saw before anyone else, but I had hoped it would be at a time when I was there to see. Instead, they keep a secret, not wanting me to find out.

"_Oh, Carly will overreact, oh, she won't believe us, oh, it's too late now. Too late my butt. Had they told me now, I would still accept it quickly, as long as they told me directly, not me having to go outta my way to find out."_

I swear, these two may think they have me fooled, but like I said, I'm more perceptive than they think. I know when things aren't going right.

I mean, iCarly is just around the corner, right?

_iTTHI_

Classes were boring, once again. All A's, I mean, c'mon. Some were just that easy and Ms. Briggs wasn't an exception. Even if she hated my guts, like she did all the kids.

I was so tired, I almost fell asleep. Sam kept me awake all night with our activities. And she wasn't even tired when she came in!

"_I get the 'freak in the bed' for a girlfriend. That may sound good, but trust me, that is a tiring entity I have to sate."_

I began to get so tired, I saw Ms. Briggs turn into a naked Sam.

"_Freddiiiiee…_"

I shake my head and clear my thoughts. Woah, maybe we have to layoff…what am I saying? That's probably the best part of my day. Tiring, but the best still.

I knew falling asleep would probably not be the best idea if that's in my head.

"Ms. Briggs, can I get some water, please?"

She glared at me and grimaced. Then she smirked. I know she gonna ask me something stupid, something no regular student could answer.

"Ask me in Spanish. Water, please, and teacher."

"Peudo ir a tomar agua, por favor, Senorita Briggs."

Maybe she forgot that I could speak random Spanish. I knew what I was saying, but that didn't mean everyone else did, so they thought it pertained to the conversation. Either way, I was going to get me some damned water!

I exit out the class after she passes me my note (with a glare) and make my way to the water fountain at the end of the hall.

I see the blessed silver source. Just as I was about to take some into my hand, there's a sign hanging from it.

"**Out of Order."**

I swear there is someone out to get me. Why did this have to happen to me? I'm a good…ish boy. I make A's and B's. Can I not have to go back to class with fantasies of my girlfriend flashing around in my mind?

I sigh and walk back to class, not exactly up to finding another fountain. I get back to class and as soon as my body hits the chair, my head hits the desk. There goes Ms. I'm-To-Good-For-Clothes-Puckett ogling me from where Ms. Briggs is supposed to be. I put my head down and know for a fact that when I enter this dream, I'm gonna have to hide my pants when I get up.

_Dream Sequence_

_I was sitting in my chair, in class again. Oddly enough, no one was around except for Rip-off Rodney, Wendy, and a couple of other students. I guessed it was detention, for what, I didn't know._

_I looked up and there was no teacher in sight. I figured lounge because what teacher wanted to sit around and look at students all day._

_I pulled out my Pearphone and texted Sam. I got a text back saying look up._

_The moment I looked up, I really wish I hadn't. God she was standing there, just like in my daydreams. Her naked body was glowing in the light, her sun tresses fell down around her shoulders from the top of her crown. Her lips were in their usual smirk, but with a slight mischievousness to them. She stood off with her hips leaning to the right and her chest to the left in her Puckett pose. _

_The sight of her had me take a quick look around. With all these guys in here, I was going to have to blind some people. Instead, I was there alone. With her._

_I quickly turned back and stood up slowly, still taking in her frame. Her nipples perked up to attention as her breasts swayed from her slight breathing. Her left hand was leaning on the desk while her right was perched on her hips. Her creamy legs were blemish-free, so much in the vanilla color, I was sure to taste cream if I licked them._

_God, this girl was gonna kill me. I walked up slowly. She tilted her head, as if wondering what was wrong, mocking the position I was in. She wrapped her arms around my neck, draping her strong yet supple and smooth arms onto me._

"_What's wrong, Freddie? Something bothering you?"_

_I felt like my tongue was glued to my jaws. I could only nod and gesture toward her._

"_Moi? Non può essere me."_

"_Si, Señorita. Yo quiero muy mucho."_

"_Daverro?"_

_I could only nod again, mainly because she had connected her lips to mine. I swear my favorite fruit from now own is strawberry._

_I hands cupped her wrists as I deepened the kiss. Her moist lips moving with mine made me harder. I began to sweat and sought to get more into this. I probed her with my tongue with hopes she would open. I felt her open, but my tongue couldn't get a centimeter before she was in my mouth, licking and rubbing hers with mine._

_My hands had gotten away from me, my right smoothing her tresses and pulling her head to me while my left slid down her curves, getting more of the feel of her divine bode. I reached down and, feeling a little bolder, cupping her ass and grinding into her, hoping she would get my message that this was killing me in the most incredible way._

_I hadn't even realized my button-down was coming off, the feeling of air on my chest barely registering with my mind. I was kind of busy wrestling to get into her mouth at the time. But I realized I was getting just as naked as she was, when I felt my belt being pulled off and my navel meeting her's, the sweat between our bodies making us more slick._

_I finally let go of her mouth and kiss my way to her neck, nipping and licking. I feel her vein under my ministrations and suck hard and long, trying to get that purple bruise to appear the way she does me._

_I slid my way to the valley of her full breasts. Her pert nipples stood out to me, calling me. I obliged when I felt her hands in my hair and took her nipples into my mouth. I heard a crunch of my name come from her lips. She was trying to hold back from moaning. I wasn't about to have it. I grabbed the breast to my left and kneaded the upright nipple, rubbing in between my fingers. She clutched my hair tighter, assured in trying to pull out some strands. Her legs waved back and forth, not able to calm down for a second_

_Her hands soon leave my head for a much larger expanse. She is grabbing my back and bringing her nails down like she always does. I know for a fact that I'm going to have wounds to clean when I'm done, but I can't really seem to care that much. This goddess is in front of me and I have time to actually think about pain? NO! And I swear, the markings felt gooood…Yep, I'm a masochist._

_My pants left my body without my permission just as my shirt did as I suckled her mounds. My ears are in heaven the way she moaned and let my name fly from her lips. No one is here, she could scream to China and I wouldn't care._

_Her stomach rubbed against my abs and I knew she was smirking above me. She liked my new form and I wasn't oblivious to it. She always went after them when we were at my house, why would it surprise me now._

_I moved my hand to her crotch and I could feel her heat calling to me. It was molten lava to my hand and my face was going to be there next._

_I slipped my thumbs under the elastic of her alluring panties. Lace looked incredible on her. I crouched to the floor and breathed heavily, knowing the sensation made her wild. I tongued all around her entrance, sweat and other, tastier juices covering my mouth. She pushed my head, begging for me to get to the point. I teased her more, closing in for a couple of seconds then moving out._

"_God, Freddork, if you don't get moving."_

_That's the Sam I wanted. I licked languidly onto her lips, loving the taste I got. She began to scream, writhe against me. To stop her, my hands had to leave her beautiful breast and cup her ass again, getting me harder off her more than developed curves. But what got me was her switching between moans and screams of my name._

"_Freddiiie. God, it feels so good! Don't…Don't stop! Freddie, Freddie, Freddie…"_

"Fredward! Fredward!"

I awoke with a start. Ms. Briggs had interrupted my dream with her screaming. I shuddered that I mistook the love of my life's voice for her's.

"Yes?"

I slurred my words, my head still trying to wake up.

"I have been calling you for the past minute! You were sleeping in my class?"

I nodded my head, completely missing the question.

"Yep, fell straight asleep to your horrid voice."

Some of the still awake students snickered and I had to wonder why? It still hadn't registered that I just joked on my teacher.

"Alright, maybe you can listen to my voice in detention!"

I woke up fully to that little ditty. Detention? Craaap!

_iTTHI_

Tomorrow night was iCarly. I typed some more on Freddie's studio laptop. I saved the PowerPoint that I made onto the file under Carly. I smirked. Yep, if only those two knew what was going to happen, they probably would stay far away from the studio for a while.

I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to live this down. Ehh, time I did something bad. And besides, it's not like I was gonna break them up.

I hopped downstairs. I saw Spencer already on his sculpture. It was a giant…phone?

"Spencer, what's that?"

"It's a giant pearphone that I made out of phone parts! You like?"

"Uhhh, sure. Hey, we got any Pep C?"

"Check in the fridge, I can't remember if I picked any up."

I check the fridge and pulled out a bottle. I drank a bit, but immediately spit it out.

"What the-?"

I look at the label and sigh. New kiwi flavor, ugh. Spencer liked kiwi, not me.

I look at my brother, but smile instead of throw a fit.

"Hey, Spence."

"Yeah."

His eyes were still on the giant phone. I roll my eyes.

"You checked out the new kiwi flavor Pep?"

"I know, doesn't it taste great?"

I look at him pointedly. It takes him a bit to realize, but recognition fills his face.

"Ohhhh…Sorry."

"S'okay. Just get some of my homemade lemonade."

I saw Spencer grimace. Hey, I like it, so it counts for something, right?

I look in the fridge and grab the pitcher, but shake my head and smile dejectedly. Spencer had labeled 'Bad Lemonade'. Guess it doesn't count.

_iTTHI_

I sigh as I get home. That was not the way to start a weekend. Thank god, my mom wasn't getting home till midnight. I move sluggishly to my room in hopes of getting some sleep. Nice, dreamless sleep.

I walk into my room and drop my bag, my eyes downcast. I flip on my light to the dark room and look to my glorious bed.

My eyes widen as I look to the glorious naked lady before me.

"Well, hello, Fredlumps."

Nope, no sleep for me, Big or Little Freddie.

_iTTHI_

Hop in my chair as I hear a scream. Spencer and I were having breakfast and I swore someone screamed like their house was broken into.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Spencer looked at me, confused. I shook my head. Maybe it was just me, but I'm sure I heard something.

_iTTHI_

I twiddled my thumbs as my mom walked in front of me and Sam. Sam sat indifferently, caring not much for getting found in the bed by my mom.

"And with someone so vile. I mean, I leave for a night and all of a sudden, my son is defiled by this cold,-"

"Mom."

"-demonic,-"

"Mom!"

"-disgusting meat eater!"

"MOM!"

"Yes, my therapy-needing son."

"Mom, it wasn't just her. We were both in this. And stop saying that about my girlfriend!"

"And another thing, why are you with this-this creature?"

"Because I love her!"

"Freddie, you can't mean that."

"Oh, but I do! I love Sam and there is nothing you can do to stop me from dating her."

"Is that so?"

"Nothing short of making me disown you from my life."

"You wouldn't!"

"I moved out, didn't I?"

"Freddie!"

"I am serious, Mom."

She looked at Sam evilly. I turned her to me and looked at her pointedly.

"Remember what Dad said?"

She widened her eyes and gaped open her mouth a couple of times.

"You have to back away or I'M sure you'll lose me."

She closed her eyes and breathed before nodding.

"You're right. You deserve space and if allowing you to date her means that much to you, than okay."

"Thanks, Mom."

I hugged her. Hmm. I think I hear aww's somewhere.

"But make sure that every night you take double tick baths before you go to bed. And make sure that you use willie-jamas when you're with…this beast."

"MOM!"

My mom had code named everything dealing with sex in some childish way. I turned rose red, know for a fact Sam was probably snickering behind me. I bring her ear to me and cover my hand over it.

"Of course I have. I'm not irresponsible."

I back away and smile. Well, at least my weekend was going better.

I look at Sam and back at my mom. They were both staring each other down hard. Well, at least it was going as good as it could with a life like mine.

_iTTHI_

I set up the table for the watermelon spray paint bit. I couldn't wait for this iCarly. This was going to be really fun.

_iTTHI_

I login into iCarly and clicked on the upload page. We were going on in ten minutes and I was getting everything ready.

The table was ready, we had some guests, and for some reason, Carly said she had something for the end.

I was pretty late getting here so I had to hurry. But I couldn't help, but continue to think about Carly. The moment me and Sam walked in, she stared us down. I shivered. I really did not want to know why she's mad at us and I hope she forgets about it.

"Hey, babe."

"Wassup?"

Sam plopped down onto the beanbag. I smiled as I noticed the piece of chicken in her hand.

"Did you notice the way Carly has been staring at us? I swear that girl can get intimidating when she wants."

"I noticed, but let's not dwell on it. Hopefully, she'll forget why she's mad."

Sam shrugged, but I could still see worry in her eyes, even from my spot in front of the cart.

"Don't worry. If she hasn't gotten over it by the end of this iCarly, we'll ask, okay?"

She nodded and set the leg in her pocket. I raise my brow at my girl's randomness.

Couple of minutes later, Carly comes up with a bottle of Peppy Cola.

"Didn't you say that you hadn't lime flavor?"

"Ehh, I got used to it. Sooo, you guys ready?"

"Yep."

"As I'll ever be."

I pick up the camera and type onto the computer.

"Alright guys, we are live in five, four, three, two!"

I point to the girls and smile as one of the best things that have happened in my life begins.

"I'ma banana."

"And I'ma pear."

"And this is iCarly!"

I chuckled behind the camera.

"Alright, so starting off this week's iCarly is spray paint."

"But not any spray paint."

"Nope."

"Fredwiener, please show them our paint."

I point to the table of the four halves of watermelon, straws, and sprays.

"Yep. We're using watermelon spray paint to paint…"

Sam presses her remote.

"A GIBBY!"

Gibby comes out wearing only some dickeys with no shirt. Of course.

"Alright. We have our spray and we have our Gibby canvas, so let's start spraying!"

Carly and Sam begin to spray Gibby, her stomach getting wet with a more pinkish color rather than red. Some seeds here and there, but I barely notice. I'm chuckling so hard, it's hard for me to keep the camera up.

"Okay, Gibs!"

They step back and look upon the wet and dripping Gibson boy.

"Look, we made a tomato!"

I held in my laughter.

"Can I leave? I got to get ready!"

"Uhh, sure."

Gibby rushes to leave. For what, I don't know.

It was a pretty good show, we had some people with funny clips, some saying we were the greatest.

"And that's how I got to get out of going to jail by selling fake pearpods."

"Nice one, Rip-off."

"By Rod."

"See ya."

I click out of the T.V. link and point back to the girls.

"Alright, now. Get out here Fredly!"

I raise my brow and set my camera down, switching to the B cam.

"Okay, so whatcha want me for?"

"Oh, nothing. Just about to make a whole bunch of fans very happy."

I get nervous as she looks at me and smiles.

"Ya know Freddie? You've gotten stronger. I remember when you couldn't see over me, either."

"Heh heh, yeah…"

I was starting to sweat and looking to my left, Sam wasn't doing to hot neither.

"You're pretty good looking. When did the hot Freddie get here?"

"Uhh, heh heh, I don't know?"

I try to pull away from Carly's attaching grip. This is so not happening, I have a girlfriend!

"Hey, how about you and me go ou-"

"Get off my man, Shay!"

Sam pushed in between us and grabbed me possessively. She hugged me like I was a life line.

Carly stood off to the left, a smug smile appearing on her face.

"Um, uhh…"

Sam was trying to say something, but her mouth apparently wasn't working. I was frozen.

"So, what's this?"

"I, uhh-"

"Am dating Freddie behind my back?"

Now, I was sure it wasn't just me frozen in spot. Sam stiffened beside me.

"I know you two have been going out and not telling me."

I finally found my voice.

"How?"

"The Gibster and I have been creeping. Thank you Sam, you have been a great teacher."I knew something was up the first week. But when I found you two making out in the hallway, I knew you've been doing this for awhile."

"What about when we disguise ourselves?"

"Oh, please! Even with wigs, I can still tell with the way you guys walk. That and Sam blew your cover yelling at that kid. Like in Ridgeway Park?"

I blushed. We had some pretty heated make out sessions there. Then I remember what she said and turned to Sam.

"What? The kid wouldn't shut up with his yelling."

I shook my head and turn back to Carly

"And guess what iCarly fans? I even have pics!"

She walked over to the cart and opened a file.

"Check the T.V. monitor people!"

We walk up to the T.V. and wait for a couple of seconds. Then the word 'Seddie' pop up. I got a bad feeling about this.

For the next four minutes, it showcased me and Sam at the couple of restaurants we had visited out of Seattle. Then some of our kissing. Then us walking, in disguise, straight through Ridgeway Park. All of the pics were incredibly clear, making sure that it showed our faces rather than just the back of our heads

Sam and I's mouths dropped like we were fish. Carly stood off to the side with her arms crossed. She had done this…as revenge?

As the video ended, Carly looked back to the B cam.

"Alright, people. Now I know that some of you wanted me and Freddie to get together, but I don't have those kinds of feelings for Freddie. He's just my brother as Sam is my sister, both of which I am very angry with, so I made this clip, showing millions of people how cute they are. So that's it for this iCarly. Remember, make sure that you comment below, cuz I know for a fact there's gonna be a whole lot of them, and have a good night."

She walked to the cart and ended the upload. We were still in shock. She turned back to us.

"Wellll, I got to go. There's someone waiting at the Groovy Smoothie for me and I can't let him keep waiting. And stop gaping like halibut, I told you no more secrets."

She walked out of the studio, her strut confident.

I can't believe this! She…She knew and she made sure we knew that she knew. And for a couple of days now. I finally form words and blink my dry eyes.

"Well, at least we don't have to hide anymore."

Sam still had her mouth open.

"If you're not careful, bugs can crawl in like that."

Sam turned to me and closed her mouth, her eyes squinting. I didn't even see the fist fly, but I certainly felt it. My arm was pounding and I was on the ground.

"OWWW!"

"That's how she realized something was different, Dipthong!"

I moaned on the ground. I sat up and looked to her. She glared, but then stuck the tip of her tongue to me and smiled.

"So, you're mad at me?"

"I should be…, buuuut I think having me for a girlfriend is bad enough."

I got up and pulled her to me.

"…Pretty much, but my life wouldn't be heaven without you."

She giggled and slipped her arms around and right before she kissed me, she said;

"You are the dorkiest boyfriend I ever had the distaste to meet, but yeah, I think my life is heaven with you too, Nubmeister."

_iTTHI_

I walked out of my room after taking off the sweater I had on and changing my sneaks to heels. I had to hurry, he was probably already there. I was wearing a pink fleece and some jeans.

"Spencer, I'm gonna going to the Groovy Smoothie."

"Alright, kiddo, get me a Strawberry Splat."

"Sure."

Making my way out of the apartment and downstairs, I plugged my ears for when Lewbert came yelling.

"NO PRISSY GIRLS IN MY LOBBY!"

I walked down the street and opened the glass door. I made my way past the main table where the guys and I usually sit at, past the leather jacket that beamed at me.

"Yo, T-Bo, a Limeade Splash and Strawberry Splat, please?"

"Coming right up, kid."

I checked around the bar. Some dudes were eyeing me up and down. Had they known who I was here for, would they still be doing that? After I got the smoothies I went to sit at the main table. He looked up at me and grinned.

"Hey, Carly. How'd it go?"

"Ohh, I left them gaping like fish."

He chuckled. I check around again discreetly.

"Hey, did you notice all the guys are glaring at you."

"I figured. I still don't understand it. Are you sure you want to be dating me? I mean, people will think you're weird."

I shrugged, but when he rolled his eyes, I wasn't having it. I stood, leaned over the table, and grabbing his chubby cheeks, gave him and a kiss. God was it incredible, fireworks and all. My hand felt like jelly trying to hold him to me as the kiss took over my mind.

Once I pulled back, I closed my eyes and found my seat. I smiled a crooked smile and leaned on my hand propped on the table.

"Oh, I know I'm weird. There has got to be something wrong with me and yet, I don't think I need to hide it."

* * *

**Jesus Christ, I'm finally done. It took me a while and more than the weekend to finish, mostly cuz I couldn't get to the laptop. Anyway, thank you for reading, leave me some reviews, and get out! Nah, I'm kidding.**

**Till next time, Animaster/Doragoon out.**


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